Steps forward

As frustrated as I can be with myself for repeatedly missing my self-imposed Saturday-night blog deadline, I’ve decided that moving the deadline proper to Sunday would be a mistake.  As it is, you can probably count on posts happening at some point over the weekend.

I set some balls rolling this week.  The first, almost certainly most important, is that I gave notice at my job.  You may remember how I wrote a while back about how I would probably be moving to Washington DC to be with Girlfriend.  I then promptly stopped referring to it against the outside chance that my bosses would find out I was planning to leave before I told them.  But now I told them, and I can tell you too.  My last day of work is tentatively set for November 30.

I’m willing to tell you that this has been a very scary thing.  As America evolves into a despair-based economy, the prospect of giving up a good job, that pays all my bills, has moved from irksome to terrifying.

But what do I mean when I say I have a good job?  Meaning no disrespect to my employer, to whom I am very grateful, I found no value in the work itself.  Yes, I knew I was doing something that was of use to some people, maybe that was even important, and I could take a little pride in doing it well.  But I didn’t enjoy it, or even engage it.  Like every job I’ve had, actually, in the narrative of my life the time I’ve spent working has worked out to lost time, like sleeping.

It was money, and money is security, and I’m not so romantic as to imagine that I can get by without it.  Over the past couple months, though, I’ve been realizing that the life I’ve been making secure is not the life I want.  Not that I didn’t understand that before, but when Girlfriend was here there was something to be said for just living, and I imagined my steady job providing a safe platform for a cautious transition into an artistic livelihood.  I don’t think I was wrong.  But now I have roots here, and I want to be there.

What will I do in DC?  I’ll definitely look for a steady job—I’ve read the advice of enough successful freelancers warning against jumping straight in to the artistic life without a net—but I’m starting  a new phase of my life again, and it’s time to start working with a goal and a plan.

One step taken in the right direction: I signed up to the Cracked.com writer’s forum, which is the first step toward being able to pitch them article ideas and, hopefully, get published and paid.  I'm not bragging about this.  It’s not an award or anything; anyone can get in.  But the fact remains that last week I had not done this, and now I have.  When an article of mine is published, then you can be sure I will be bragging, right here.

I’m off to work now, despite it being Sunday.  Seeing the end of my current job has suddenly made me care about money, which is something I haven’t done in a while.  But I took four days of unpaid leave while my Grandma was dying, and while I’m not required to make that up, now it looks to me like an opportunity to squeeze four more days’ pay out of this job while I have it, if I can find the time.

November is coming.  Are you ready?