At the end of this week I'll be back to Seattle for... something or other. I dunno. I let Girlfriend handle these things.
Actually I'm more on top of my social schedule than usual at the moment (I bought a planner!) and I am well aware that my illustrious friends Bryan and Katie are getting married (to each other, no less) the Saturday after next. So I will be heading there to congratulate them, and also to catch Bryan's last performance in a universally praised The Importance of Being Earnest. It's not every week you get to see a live romantic comedy where one of the actors actually gets married at the end.
To temper the joy you are probably feeling at this moment, I choose this moment to reveal that I am currently investigating the possibility that my new house has bed bugs. I hope it proves to be otherwise, but after finding three small bug bites in a line across my stomach today, I've laid down tape at the edge of the beds in hope--no, not in hope, but fear--of catching a few as they go about their vile business. No, I do not hope to find bedbugs--and God knows the neighborhood is rife with other suspects--but if they are here my malice toward them is endless.
The good news seems to be, at least, that some of the more extreme bed bug remedies, i.e., arson and seppuku, are no longer recommended.
We shall see, and hopefully we shall sort it out quickly (as these things go).
I assure you that you have successfully tempered my previously unmitigated joy at your impending arrival, and I anxiously await the results of your bedbug traps. I have not recently had the pleasure of looking through the bed bug remedies, but if they involve bagging your clothing for a lengthy period of time, I pray you would do so at once with any of the clothing that absolutely must come with you (i.e. her dress and your suit), so you can obliterate the vermin as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteNever mind, bagging is useless for bed bugs. (Which is to say, it needs to be bagged for far too long to be helpful for the immediate concern.) The vile vermin. Throw everything in a hot hot hot dryer for an hour? And then we'll do it again when you get here!
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, we don't seem to have caught anything yet.
ReplyDeleteI did find out that heat works, and we already plan to make liberal use of the dryer before we visit, whether we catch anything or not.
For what it's worth, our investigation so far has not uncovered any evidence of bedbugs. And not going outside the past couple days seems to have stopped me from getting bitten any more.
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